Staying Rooted in Hope and Bold Gratitude as a Single Christian Woman This Holiday Season

I was recently watching an episode of Better Together on TBN. One of the ladies, Sheila Walsh, was sharing her story of being pregnant, going in for a checkup at 20 weeks, and being told that her son was “incompatible with life.”

My heart broke as I heard her story! I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why would God allow that to happen to her?” But then she said something that was profound and stuck with me days later. It was something to the effect of, “Lord, if you have me carry him for 20 weeks, and then you carry him for the remaining 20 weeks, thank you.”

I’m not gonna lie. That shattered my heart even further! Even through her devastation, she had learned the art of thanking God “in all circumstances.” I couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for her to utter those words. But she said it.

This made me think of the holiday season which has arrived as of this most recent Thanksgiving. It’s the time of year when families reconnect, friends host parties, and couples seem to be everywhere you look: walking hand-in-hand through light displays, taking engagement pictures in the cold, or posting cozy photos on social media.

Meanwhile, you may be looking at your holiday plans and thinking, Lord, I’m single again for another year. What do I have to be grateful for?

It’s normal to feel sad about being left out.
It’s normal to wonder why God hasn’t answered your deeply personal prayer just yet.

There is no shame in acknowledging any of those thoughts/feelings. Just because you struggle to feel grateful doesn’t mean you love God less. You’re human. I have been right where you are.

You may be looking at your holiday plans and thinking, Lord, I’m single again for another year. What do I have to be grateful for? Read on… Share on X

When Gratitude Doesn’t Come Naturally

That being said, as Christians, we are called to give thanks “in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). But gratitude is easier to talk about than to practice, especially when it feels like God isn’t responding to your prayers in the time frame you hoped for. It can be frustrating to watch blessings flow into other people’s lives while you’re quietly carrying the weight of unanswered prayers.

This is where emotional reasoning tries to dominate our thoughts. Emotional reasoning says, “If I don’t feel grateful, then I must not have anything to be grateful for.” But feelings are unstable drivers. They do not always speak the truth.

It can be frustrating to watch blessings flow into other people’s lives while you’re quietly carrying the weight of unanswered prayers. Share on X

Do Not Let Your Feelings Dictate the Facts

The psalmists understood this struggle deeply. Instead of following their feelings blindly, the psalmists disciplined their hearts to follow God’s truth.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? … Put your hope in God.” (Psalm 42:5)
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” (Psalm 103:2)

Notice something: these verses speak to the soul.

Instead of following their feelings blindly, the psalmists disciplined their hearts to follow God’s truth. Share on X

The psalms are not simply passive. Many are commands. They instruct your heart to praise, remember, & hope. The psalmists understood that your feelings, like unruly sheep, must be shepherded — not obeyed without question.

Your heart may feel overwhelmed, but your heart also needs guidance. That is where gratitude becomes an intentional spiritual discipline, not a passive emotional reaction.

Underrated Advantages of Being Single This Season

When you’re single, your mind can easily magnify what’s missing and minimize what you actually have. You can inadvertently overlook real advantages that bring peace, freedom, and clarity during the holidays:

1. You have flexibility.
You can decide where to spend the holidays, how long to stay, and what traditions to participate in —without needing negotiations, compromises, or obligations to a partner’s family.

2. Your finances are yours alone to consider.
There is no pressure to buy gifts for a partner, their relatives, or attend expensive couple-centered events. Your financial choices can reflect your values, not someone else’s expectations.

3. You have more emotional bandwidth.
Holidays can be tense and emotional for couples and families. Being single means you are not responsible for navigating relational drama, tension between spouses or in-laws, or navigating divided loyalties.

4. You can focus on God more clearly.
Your prayers, decisions, and spiritual reflections aren’t influenced by relationship pressures. You can hear God without the static of romance, conflicts, or compromise.

5. You are free to build traditions that truly reflect who you are.
Whether you travel, host Friendsgiving, cook a unique dinner, or celebrate in simplicity — you get to design a holiday rhythm that nourishes your spirit.

These aren’t consolation prizes. They are blessings that allow you to experience peace, reflection, intentionality, and maturity that many people in relationships quietly long for.

Look for Ways to Serve: Gratitude Grows When You Stop Staring at Yourself

Gratitude becomes stronger when your focus widens. When your life is only about your prayers, your desires, your loneliness, and your timeline, gratitude shrinks. Serving others shifts your focus and reminds you of God’s provision in your own life.

Here are tangible ways you can serve others during this season:

Volunteer at a soup kitchen, food pantry, or holiday meal distribution.
Donate warm clothes, blankets, or toiletries to local shelters.
Offer to help a single parent with holiday errands, childcare, or groceries.
Spend time with someone who is grieving or alone during the holidays.
Cook or bake something for an elderly neighbor or widow in your church.
Pay for someone’s groceries or coffee quietly, without announcing it.
Offer support to a ministry event or outreach your church is planning.

Serving is not just charity; it is spiritual medicine. It recalibrates your perspective. It brings your heart back to truth. And it opens your eyes to how much you actually have.

Practical Ways to Cope and Cultivate Gratitude This Thanksgiving

Here are intentional and spiritually grounded strategies to help you nourish gratitude, even if it doesn’t come naturally:

1. Create a daily gratitude discipline.
Write down three to five unique things you are thankful for each day. Do not repeat items. The goal is to train your mind to scan for blessings it normally overlooks.

2. Practice speaking to your soul.
Just as the psalmists did, say out loud:

“My soul will bless the Lord today.”
“My heart will remember God’s goodness.”
“My hope will rest in God.”

You are not pretending to feel joyful; you are directing your emotions toward truth.

3. Establish personal holiday traditions.
Do not wait for a spouse to start meaningful traditions. Create your own now: a solo trip, a special meal, a movie night, a new recipe, or a personal devotional routine. Build a life worth living before someone joins you.

4. Limit emotional triggers.
Social media, holiday movies, and comparison can distort reality. Set healthy boundaries for yourself during this time. Mute, snooze, unfollow, or block as necessary. You are allowed to protect your peace.

5. Intentionally serve someone else.
Do not wait to “feel better” before giving. Serving is a path toward emotional and spiritual clarity. It reminds you of your abundance.

6. Pray with expectation, not entitlement.
God has not forgotten your desires. But He also refuses to give you anything at the wrong time or in a form that would harm your peace, purpose, or spiritual growth. You are not waiting on love out of punishment — you are waiting for divine alignment.

Being single during the holidays is not a sign of failure or delay. It is a chapter where God is crafting depth, discernment, and devotion within you. Gratitude does not deny your longing; it simply refuses to let desire blind you to the beauty already present.

You are not less blessed because you’re single.
You are not overlooked because you’re waiting.
God’s goodness is not delayed — it is unfolding.

You deserve a holiday season marked by peace, warmth, meaning, clarity, and most importantly, gratitude for all God has already done for you.

Embrace it fully, not because everything feels perfect, but because God is perfect in His timing, His care, and His provision.

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