Everything was perfect! You were feeling him. He was feeling you.
He finally asked you out on a date and everything went amazing. Plus he looked even better than his pictures which is always a plus.
But what happens when things go to pieces? You know, when the texts stop coming, the “good morning beautiful” disappears, and the guy who was just telling you he wanted to take you to church just vanishes into thin air.
Yep — you guessed it; we’re talking about ghosting.
It’s the 21st-century heartbreak nobody could have trained you for. One minute you’re thinking about your outfit for the next date night, and the next, you’re triple-checking your phone wondering if there’s some technical reason for the radio silence. (Spoiler alert: there usually isn’t. 😤)
First Things First: It’s Not About You
I know this can be hard to believe, especially when everybody in your family growing up made you feel like you were a burden, #teamtoomuch, a drama queen, or an inconvenience.
Let me say this louder: despite the lies your brain shoves your way, his ghosting says more about him than it will ever say about you.
I know your brain wants to spiral with all of those pesky questions:
- Was I too much? Or not enough?
- Did I say something wrong?
- Did I talk too much?
- Maybe he doesn’t find me attractive.
- What if I came across as desperate?
- Maybe I shouldn’t have made that joke?
And and on, and on it goes. Sis, you’re not the problem! You’re not being too sensitive. You’re not too “fill-in-the-blank with every negative adjective you can think of.” Remember, emotionally mature men do not disappear without a word. Period.
And when it comes to ghosting, know that you’re definitely not alone.
According to a 2018 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, around 25% of people have been ghosted. That’s 1 in 4 people!
And before you start thinking, “Well, that means 3 people weren’t ghosted who weren’t me,” that same study noted that 20% of people had ghosted somebody else. 😳
When it comes to ghosting, remember that emotionally mature men do not just disappear without a word. Share on XBe honest. Have you ever ghosted or unmatched with somebody else before without a word or explanation? If you have, just goes to show you’re also human so don’t beat yourself up about it. And if you haven’t, good on you for doing right to your fellow man!
But of course, that doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been hurt by that guy ghosting you with zero explanation to show for it.
Ghosting is a real thing and it hurts because it leaves you with no closure and can leave you with a whole lot of self-doubt.
Check out part 2 for what you ought to do next…
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