Should I Text Him For the Third Time…or Start a New Life in Another Country? Pt 2

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If you haven’t already, read part 1 here.

So how can you know when a guy is genuinely interested in you and worth giving him a shot?

All you have to do is look at what he DOES, not just what he says.
A man who is interested in pursuing you will show you — consistently, intentionally, and without you having to beg for it.

Let me say it louder for the people in the back: When it comes to healthy relationships, consistency matters more than a fleeting chemistry.

When it comes to healthy relationships, consistency matters more than a fleeting chemistry. Share on X

Because a man can have all the smooth words in the world, but if his actions don’t line up — if he’s constantly “busy,” vague, flaky, or full of excuses — that is not pursuit. That’s confusion. And confusion is not from God.

Because a man can have all the smooth words in the world, but if his actions don’t line up, that is not pursuit. That’s confusion. And confusion is not from God. Share on X

Sis, please remember:

• It’s not clingy to want communication.
• It’s not “too much” to ask for intentionality.
• It’s not going above and beyond to expect reciprocity.

Wanting someone who responds to texts in a timely way, plans dates, checks in on how your day went, and expresses clear interest is not “being needy.” It’s being aware of your worth.

When you’re with the wrong guy, or a guy who’s only interested in breadcrumbing you to keep you around — aka, giving you just enough attention to stay on the hook but never enough to feel secure — you will always be left wanting more.
You’ll feel anxious, unsure, second-guessing yourself, and wondering if you did something wrong.

That is not what dating someone with godly intentions looks like. That’s emotional chaos disguised as “chill.”
God is not the author of confusion — and neither is a man who genuinely sees your value.

So What Does Pursuit Look Like?

Let’s get specific. If a man is really into you, these are some of the things you should be seeing:

• He initiates communication — and keeps it going, not just good morning/good night texts.
• He makes time for you, even if his schedule is packed. He carves it out, not just squeezes you in.
• He follows through on plans. Not just talks about “someday.” He picks a date, a place, and sticks to it.
• He respects your boundaries. He doesn’t try to rush you emotionally, physically, or spiritually.
• He pays attention. To your likes, your dislikes, the little things you mentioned in passing.
• He introduces you to people who matter to him. Friends, family, church crew. He’s not hiding you.
• He asks meaningful questions. He wants to know you, not just chill and vibe.
• He brings God into the conversation. Not in a performative way, but because it genuinely matters to him.

Now, am I saying that a man should be meeting all of your needs? No!

That’s not his job — it’s yours.

Let’s be clear. A good man, even a godly man, is still human.
He can be loving, supportive, and intentional — but he cannot complete you. That role is already filled by Christ.

If you enter a relationship expecting someone else to be your peace, joy, emotional anchor, therapist, spiritual guide, and daily motivation… sis, that is not love. That’s codependency in a cute outfit.

Remember: you have to find your own happiness before you get into a relationship. Otherwise, you will put way, waytoo much pressure on your partner to be your everything. And that is a HUGE relationship killer.

When you’re with the wrong guy, or a guy who’s only interested in breadcrumbing you to keep you around, you will always be left wanting more. Share on X

That being said, it is absolutely exhausting to keep pouring into someone who isn’t pouring back.

• You are not crazy for wanting communication or clear answers.
• You are not a bother because you want to know his intentions.
• You are not desperate for expecting mutual effort.

Want to know what you are? Simply a woman who knows her worth.

A man who is genuinely interested will not leave you guessing. He won’t make you wonder if he cares, because he’ll show you — consistently, intentionally, and without you having to beg for it. Share on X

I said earlier to pay attention to his words over his actions. But also remember that a man who does not keep his word is a walking red flag and contradiction (especially if he says he’s a Christian/godly man!).

The Bible says, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” – Matthew 5:37

This means that you ought to be able to take his word at face value without him having to swear up and down to you that he is “telling the truth this time.”

So before you say “yes” to a man, ask yourself:

• Do I even like myself when I’m around him?
• Do I feel peaceful… or anxious and unsure?
• Does he bring clarity, or does he always keep me guessing?
• Am I drawn closer to God by knowing him?
• Is my joy dependent on how much attention he gives me?

Main Takeaway Points

• If he wanted to, he would.
• Mixed signals are a clear signal: he’s not that serious.
• Love doesn’t manipulate, ghost, or gaslight.
• Being pursued by the right man feels like peace, not pressure.
• You don’t have to audition for a godly man. He’ll recognize you.

If his words say ‘yes’ but his actions feel like a ‘no’ or even ‘maybe’ do yourself a favor. Just believe his actions, and more specifically, his patterns. Actions speak louder than words, But patterns? They speak even louder.

Actions speak louder than words, But patterns? They speak even louder. Share on X

Read on for part 3 to see what you ought to do the next time you feel tempted to text that guy that you know probably isn’t the best guy for you.