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There are a lot of opinions out there on what it means to look good, dress stylishly, and be modest as a single Christian woman. Some people will say you should cover up from head to toe, avoid jewelry, ditch the makeup, hide the extensions, and more. Others will say “just do you” even if that means letting it all hang out. And then there are the confusing voices in between.
Here’s where I stand: I’m not here to give you hard-and-fast rules about what you can or can’t wear. Why? Two reasons:
- The Bible doesn’t give hard/fast rules (and I really don’t think I can do a better job than God can!). And,
- Because everybody’s perspective is different. Your story, your background, your convictions, your culture — it all plays into how you approach style/dressing modestly.
But let me also be clear: this is not me giving you a free pass to wear anything under the banner of “God accepts me as I am.” Yes, God does accept you as you are. And no, wearing that revealing two-piece made of strings won’t keep you out of heaven.
However, in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 it says, “And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.”
And scripture also calls us to cultivate beauty that comes from within and live with a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:3–4).
Do I want you to look and feel your absolute best when you walk out the door? Sure, I do. But not at the expense of doing it in a way that would not be pleasing to God or that screams the opposite of humility.
How to Be Modest?
That’s why I encourage a multi-pronged approach when you’re figuring out what feels right for you. I suggest using a combination of all three of these, although the last one is the most important:
Talk to older, godly women you trust
Titus 2 tells us that older women are meant to guide us — and sometimes their wisdom is exactly what we need. And by older women, I don’t necessarily mean the 80-year-old woman who sits at the end of her aisle and shakes her head at every single woman who walks by who doesn’t measure up to her high modesty standards.
The older woman can be that woman in her 50s who dresses nicely and stylishly (without putting on a ‘free boobs and butt display’ every week). This can also be an aunt or your pastor’s wife whose fashion sense you admire.
Ask a trusted man for his perspective
Whether it’s your dad, brother, uncle, or a spiritual mentor, sometimes getting a man’s honest input helps us see things differently. What may not seem problematic to your eyes may be different from the perspective of a man who knows just how visual guys can be. If your male relative’s or friend’s advice doesn’t sit well with you, pray about it before outright dismissing their opinion.
Pray and let the Holy Spirit guide you
At the end of the day, it’s not about impressing people — it’s about honoring God. What would God have you wear or not wear? Is what you’re wearing something that will lead people (i.e., the wrong people) to you or your body? If you bend over, will something fall out of the front…or out the back? If you’re not sure or get a check in your spirit, talk to God about it. God wants to be involved in every part of your life. Give Him a chance to help you make wise clothing choices.
The Other Extreme: When Modesty Becomes Legalism
Now, for my sisters who believe being a Christian woman means covering up every inch of your body — I need to lovingly challenge you, too.
God gave you your body. Your curves. Your shape. Your height. Your features. They are not accidents. Hiding them in oversized, frumpy, or matronly clothes doesn’t make you any holier!
If you’re covering up because you think it makes you better than the sister in Christ who’s comfortable in a T-shirt and shorts, then your heart posture is off. Modesty isn’t about comparing yourself to someone else. It’s about humility before God.
And don’t forget — our God is an artist. Just look at creation: the colors of a sunset, the patterns on a butterfly, the design of a seashell. He appreciates beauty. He designed beauty. And yes, God cares about how you present yourself to the world.
Remember, Prov. 12:4a says, “A worthy wife is a crown for her husband.” You heard that, sis? A CROWN. Don’t be afraid to put in the work to look and feel beautiful, stunning, and gorgeous. You’re reflecting God’s craftsmanship when you take care of and beautify yourself.
Practical Strategies: Dressing for Your Unique Beauty
Here’s the fun part: let’s get practical about how to find clothes that fit well, flatter your build, and bring out your best features.
Dress for Your Body Shape
- Pear Shape (smaller top, fuller bottom): Highlight your waist! Fit-and-flare dresses, A-line skirts, and structured jackets work beautifully. Stores like Express, ASOS, and Eloquii have flattering options.
- Hourglass (curves balanced): Wrap dresses and belted tops accentuate your natural proportions. Try Banana Republic, Macy’s, Venus, or Nordstrom or Nordstrom Rack.
- Inverted Triangle (broader shoulders): Balance your top with flowy bottoms—wide-leg pants, skirts with movement. Zara and Anthropologie often have chic picks.
- Rectangle (straight lines): Create curves with peplum tops, belted dresses, and layered styles. Check out Abercrombie or H&M.
Dress for Your Body Size
- Plus Size: Lane Bryant, Torrid, and Eloquii are your best friends. They cut clothes with your curves in mind.
- Tall: Try Long Tall Sally, American Tall, Ann Taylor Tall Collection, Amalli Talli, Old Navy, or ASOS Tall collections for lengths that actually reach your ankles.
- Petite: Loft, Ann Taylor Petite, and ASOS Petite keep proportions polished.
- Slim/Small Frame: Brands like Abercrombie or Aritzia give structure without drowning you.
Dress for Your Skin Tone & Undertones
- Warm Undertones (gold jewelry looks best): Earthy colors like mustard, olive, rust, and coral.
- Cool Undertones (silver jewelry looks best): Jewel tones like sapphire, emerald, fuchsia, and icy blues.
- Neutral Undertones: Lucky you — you can rock both! Aim for balanced shades like blush, navy, or teal.
Not sure how to find your undertone? Check out the video here or the article here.
Struggle with Body Hate?
I need to stop here for a second. Some of you don’t just dislike shopping — you actively dislike your body. And sis, I need to say this with love: that kind of thinking is not from God.
God does not make mistakes. That self-hatred? That’s the enemy whispering lies. Rebuke it. Replace it with truth.
Here are a few verses you can cling to as affirmations:
- Psalm 139:14 – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
- Song of Solomon 4:7 – “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”
- Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works.”
If it feels overwhelming to look at yourself with love, start small. Focus on the part of your body you dislike the least — your smile, your hands, your brows, your legs, your hair — and dress or style your makeup in ways that bring out what you do appreciate.
Remember: you’re not clothing a body you hate — you’re clothing the masterpiece that God Himself designed.
Where to Start: Resources to Jumpstart Your Closet
Ready to get inspired? Here are some websites and YouTube pages that can help you elevate your style:
- Merrick’s Art (Website & YouTube) – Modest, stylish outfit inspiration.
- Dearly Bethany (YouTube) – Minimalist chic, great for petites.
- Ashley Brooke (YouTube/Blog) – Feminine, modern style.
- Pinterest – Type in “outfits for [your body shape/skin tone]” and create your own vision board.
- Stitch Fix / Wantable – Subscription styling services that send you clothes based on your body and preferences.
Final Word
Sis, your clothes are not about impressing people. They’re about representing God, honoring the body He gave you, and showing up in the world with confidence.
So don’t shrink back. Don’t overcompensate. Don’t believe the lie that you’re either “too much” or “not enough.”
Instead, step into your power. Step into your beauty. Step into your calling—stunning, confident, and walking with the dignity of a daughter of the King.
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