Has anyone ever made plans for you without asking you first?
You’re sitting on the couch in your comfy robe, deep-conditioning your hair and watching The Chosen, and then boom — someone hits you with:
“Hey, can you watch my kids tonight?”
“Can you run this errand for me since it’s not like you’re doing anything?”
Or worse… “We’re short-staffed at church so we put you down to help out. We know we can count on you.”
Excuse me? When did your free time become a community resource?
Let’s talk about time boundaries — because your time is valuable even when it’s not scheduled.
What Are Time Boundaries?
Time boundaries protect how you choose to spend your hours, days, and energy. They allow you to:
- Say “no” to last-minute requests or unsolicited plans.
- Reserve time for rest, recreation, or relationships you prioritize.
- Decline obligations that don’t align with your season or calling.
- Not feel guilty for having down time, even if you “technically” could help.
Having free time does not mean you owe it to anyone.
5 Common Ways People Violate Time Boundaries
- Assuming availability = obligation. “Well, it’s not like you’re doing anything, right?”
- Volunteering your time without consent. “I told them you’d help — you’re always free on Saturdays.”
- Using flattery to manipulate. “You’re just so reliable, we really need you again.”
- Disrespecting your schedule. Showing up late, canceling last minute, or dragging things out.
- Punishing you for saying no. Withholding invites or giving you attitude because you didn’t make yourself available.
How It Affects You When Time Boundaries Are Ignored
When your time isn’t respected, you don’t just lose hours — you lose peace.
You may start to:
- Feel used. Like your time doesn’t matter unless it’s benefiting someone else.
- Abandon your own goals. You pour out for others but leave your calling, creativity, or healing on pause.
- Feel guilty for resting. Like relaxation has to be earned by overcommitting first.
- Grow resentful. Even at good people — because they expect too much.
- Experience burnout. You give and give… and then crash.
But sis — even God rested. Jesus often withdrew from people and ministry to be alone (Mark 6:31, Luke 5:16). He didn’t explain or apologize. He knew rest was holy.
You don’t have to fill every hour to prove your value. Rest is not a reward — it’s a right.
Scripts to Set Time Boundaries
Ready to take your time back? Try saying:
- “I have plans that day — even if it’s just rest, it still counts.”
- “That won’t work for me this week, but I hope it goes well.”
- “I’ve been overextended lately and need to reserve some downtime.”
- “Please ask me first before committing me to anything.”
- “I’m honored you thought of me, but I can’t take that on right now.”
Scripts to Rebuff Time Guilt-Trippers
If someone pushes back, here’s how to lovingly hold the line:
- “I know I’ve said yes a lot in the past, but I’m being more intentional with my time now.”
- “Not being busy doesn’t mean I’m available.”
- “I’m learning to prioritize rest and can’t make that commitment.”
- “If my ‘no’ changes our relationship, it probably wasn’t as mutual as I thought.”
- “If you need a backup plan, I can’t be it this time.”
Dealing with the Emotional Aftermath of Setting Time Boundaries
So here is the reality: you might feel weird after saying ‘no.’ That’s totally normal.
You might feel:
- Guilty (“What if they needed me?”)
- Anxious (“Did I seem rude?”)
- Insecure (“Will they stop asking me altogether?”)
That’s emotional reasoning.
Just because it feels wrong doesn’t mean it is wrong.
Sometimes people will step back when they can’t use your time like they used to — but that doesn’t mean you did something wrong. Remember:
“The people who are most upset by your boundaries are the ones who benefited from you not having any.”
Write it on your mirror. Set it as your phone wallpaper. Whatever it takes to remind yourself: Your time is a gift, not a given.
Why Practicing Time Boundaries Is Worth It
When you protect your time:
- You make room for purpose, not just pressure.
- You recover from burnout and prevent it in the future.
- You feel less resentment and more joy in the things you choose to do.
- You invest more deeply in the relationships and rhythms that refresh your soul.
- You honor God by stewarding your energy and schedule wisely (Ephesians 5:15–16).
Call to Action
Know a sister who’s stretched too thin and always feels like she has to say yes? Send her this post. Let her know she’s allowed to rest, say no, and choose herself sometimes.
Now it’s your turn:
Have you ever had someone take your time for granted — or have you ever protected it and felt free? Tell me about it in the comments or message me. Let’s build each other up.
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