Don’t Believe the Lie! How to Stop Feeling Behind When You’re Single at 30+

If you’re reading this in your 30s and still waiting on God for a husband, I just want to start by saying — I see you. And not only do I see you, I am you. I’m currently in my late 30s and walking this road too.

I know what it feels like to quietly wonder if you missed your window or if God’s still writing your love story at all. You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy for wanting marriage and still choosing to wait for God’s best.

So what are five common concerns you may face in your 30s:

1. Geriatric pregnancy looming – Once we hit 35, the medical world labels our pregnancy as “advanced maternal age.” Blech! Like they couldn’t make us feel more old if they had tried! Hearing the words “geriatric pregnancy” and being advised to “freeze your eggs” yesterday can make you feel like there is a ticking time bomb hanging over your head; and if you don’t stop it in time, your chances of fertility/pregnancy will explode in your face!
2. Fertility fears – Every year you remain unmarried and childless feels like a gamble. You start to wonder, “What if I never have a child? What if my body won’t cooperate when the time comes? What if I’m unable to carry a child to term? Or what if I have a super difficult pregnancy and lose my baby?” These types of thoughts can wreak havoc on your mental health and disturb your peace.
3. Feeling like everyone else started earlier – You watch your siblings, cousins, or peers have babies and go on family vacations while you’re still figuring out if this guy from Bumble can see himself being married and starting a family within the next two years. Then if his answer is “no,” you wonder how much more your marriage/family plans will be delayed if you have to start over again.
4. Worrying you’ll have to settle – You fear that waiting for someone with both faith and character might mean you 1) will have to marry a troll, 2) will have to date a guy with no financials prospects, 3) will have to get with the guy who’s “kind of a Christian,” or 4) will end up alone.
5. Pressure from your own heart – Your dreams for marriage and a family were beautiful and godly. From your perspective, they were good dreams to have. But for whatever reason, neither the man or the family has materialized just yet, and it hurts. It feels like God has forgotten about you.

5 Truths to Remember:

1. God doesn’t rush miracles – Remember Sarah? She laughed at the idea of becoming a mother in her old age —and yet, God kept His promise (Genesis 21:2). So if you’re looking at the dating pool (or your current matches on Hinge, Bumble, or Upward), and find yourself being skeptical that good guys are out there, don’t worry. God can and will still show up for you!
2. Your timeline isn’t off, it’s just your timeline – Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us there is a season for everything. As a woman growing up in America, I constantly felt the pressure as every birthday hit and I was still single. When I wasn’t married by 30, and then 35, I felt super behind. But eventually I had to recognize one truth: God’s never late. What God is is intentional. Jesus stayed away from Bethany until Lazarus had died. Why? So that His glory could be revealed once He resurrected Lazarus. God will resurrect your love life in HIS timing. Trust that!
3. Science isn’t sovereign — God is. – Yes, your doctor has a lot of knowledge. Yes, she went to Johns Hopkins. Yes, he went to Stanford. But guess what? Regardless of what their ego/expertise might say, neither of them are God. Be informed, yes. But don’t let fear about your fertility (or remaining eggs) write your narrative. Sis, God still does miracles in 2025. He can create options where there are none. If they’re telling you your eggs are “scrambled,” God can unscramble them. He’s a master chef. Peace is possible.
4. Singleness isn’t a punishment – Repeat that out loud if you have to. “My singleness isn’t a punishment.” Singleness involves preparation, growth, opportunities to build and scale not only your business interests but also as a person and a woman of God. Don’t let the devil fool you. God’s delay is not a denial. God’s not withholding — He’s protecting, preparing, and/or positioning you for the next level in your journey.
5. You’re becoming the woman you’d want to marry – Secure. Confident in who she is and whose she is. Spirit-filled. Mature. Strong. Bold. Beautiful (inside and out). A woman of faith who builds a life worth sharing. A woman who recognizes that she is complete and whole in Jesus.

Encouragement for You:

Sis, I have learned the hard way so that you don’t have to. Your 30s don’t have to be a season of desperation or defeat. They can be vibrant, joyful, and full of purpose. Live well now. Love your life now. Let your prayers rise from hope, not fear. You’re not behind — you’re actually right on schedule. And God’s not done.

Book Recommendation: She’s Still There  by Crystal Evans Hurst
Call to Action: Share this with a sister in her 30s who needs to be reminded that her story isn’t delayed. It’s divine destiny.