Can I be honest? One of the hardest parts of singleness can be the silence. And not just the silence; but specifically, what the silence represents for you.
While I’m an introvert who can enjoy quiet time, at other times in my life, silence screams in a way that leaves me unnerved.
Silence can send me the message that:
- I am all alone.
- I am not loved.
- I am not wanted.
- I am not desired.
Even though I may know these things aren’t true, sometimes it can be hard to silence that inner critical voice (i.e., the devil’s voice) that says otherwise.
Think about it. Depending on who you are, where you live, and the community you have around you, singleness can be tough.
Maybe everybody else around you has their own family and responsibilities. You see their pics/stories on social media and don’t want to intrude or be a burden to them. So if you don’t have many friends, then your singleness can be a time where you:
- Don’t get daily “good morning” texts.
- Have no one to share the little victories with at the end of the day.
- Have no late-night conversations with someone who knows your heart inside and out.
I’m not going to lie to you and say being single is easy. And while building strong community/friendships can help, what happens those times when nobody is available? What do you do when your singleness (or sense of being alone) extends, and extends, and extends?
What if your singleness isn’t a punishment? What if…and stay with me…what if it’s an invitation?
There’s a unique, beautiful gift hidden in this season; yet a lot of times, you and I miss it. Our brain has a tendency to focus on everything we don’t have.
In this season, you and I have the space to draw near to God in a way that’s often harder in other seasons of life. Not because marriage is bad, but because singleness provides something rare and powerful — undistracted devotion.
Yes, I know you want to have a boyfriend/fiancé/husband like everybody else. But until that happens, what if you could do something else instead, something that will help you not only grow and mature but find a deeper sense of peace, happiness, and communion?
“Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” — James 4:8 (NLT)
1. A Season of Undivided Attention
Relationships, marriage, and parenting are good and holy — but they also bring noise, responsibility, and divided attention. In singleness, your emotional bandwidth isn’t constantly being pulled in a dozen different directions.
This means you can give God something precious: your full attention/time.
- You can linger in prayer without feeling rushed.
- You can spend time in the Word without distractions.
- You can build rhythms of worship and intimacy that anchor you deeply.
The Apostle Paul said it plainly:
“I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.” — 1 Corinthians 7:32 (NLT)
This does not mean married people can’t be close to God. It means that as a single woman of God, you have a sacred opportunity right now that won’t always look the same in other seasons.
2. A Safe Place to Be Fully Known
God isn’t intimidated by your loneliness, your unanswered prayers, or your aching heart. In fact, He invites you to bring it all to Him.
This season allows you to cultivate a deeply honest relationship with God — one where you can pour out your heart without needing to filter it.
- You can talk to Him about your longings without shame.
- You can ask hard questions without fear.
- You can be fully known and fully loved at the same time.
- You can be raw, uncensored, and unfiltered. God is your Father, and He can handle it all!
Think of Hannah. She wanted kids and had none; whereas her sister wife, Peninah, had several! Many times, Hannah brought her pain and longing to God at the temple.
At one point, she was crying so hysterically, the prophet of the temple, Eli, assumed she was drunk! What does that tell us?
- Hannah did not look or sound polished.
- She wasn’t perfectly reciting her prayers.
What she was was real…and God met her there.
“I am praying out of the great anguish and sorrow in my heart.” — 1 Samuel 1:16 (NLT)
3. The Joy of Building Intimate Rhythms with God
One of the things I have recognized in retrospect is that, at first, I didn’t recognize how formative my single season was spiritually. The same holds true for you.
This is when your spiritual roots can go deep. When your faith can be shaped, not by someone else’s expectations, but by your personal walk with God.
Some powerful rhythms to cultivate now:
- Morning solitude (i.e., quiet time) with your Bible and journal
- Afternoon or Evening worship to unwind with His presence
- Regular fasting or retreats to reset and refocus
- A consistent prayer life that is not rushed or squeezed in
This isn’t about earning God’s favor. It’s about building a rhythm of intimacy that can sustain you for a lifetime. Because remember, marriage ain’t for punks! 😳
If you haven’t cultivated a good rhythm in your relationship with God now as a single woman, you will struggle once you get into marriage (where the devil will be lobbing attacks at you left and right!). Don’t waste this time, sis.
If you haven’t cultivated a good rhythm in your relationship with God now as a single woman, you will struggle once you get into marriage. Share on X“The one thing I ask of the Lord — the thing I seek most — is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple.” — Psalm 27:4 (NLT)
4. Hearing God More Clearly
When life is quieter (i.e., no rambunctious, adorable, yet rowdy toddlers running to and fro), it’s easier to hear God’s voice.
That still, small whisper that gets drowned out by busyness, life, and distractions often becomes clearer in seasons of solitude. And when you train your ears to hear God now, it’s a skill that will serve you in every season ahead.
- God often gives clarity in the quiet.
- He downloads vision in stillness.
- He shapes callings in hidden places.
Biblical figures like Mary of Bethany (Lazarus’ sister) understood this. While others were busy, she sat at Jesus’ feet and listened.
“But the Lord said to her, ‘My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.’” — Luke 10:41–42 (NLT)
5. Becoming Emotionally Anchored in God
One of the quiet superpowers of singleness is that it allows your heart to learn how to stabilize itself in God, not in another person. One of the mistakes I made while dating was making a guy my everything. When things were good between us, I was up; but when it wasn’t, I was down. This is dangerous! You have to be firmly rooted and stabilized in God alone.
Why? Because even the healthiest relationships can’t carry the weight of being your anchor. Only God can. Learning this now means a few things:
- You’ll enter future relationships more secure, not needy/clingy.
- You’ll weather life’s storms with peace, not panic.
- You’ll know where your worth truly comes from.
One of the quiet superpowers of singleness is that it allows your heart to learn how to stabilize itself in God, not in another person. Share on X“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” — Psalm 46:1 (NLT)
6. Walking with God Like a Best Friend
There’s something beautifully personal about walking with God closely in singleness. I am not exaggerating when I say that I talk to Him all the time!
- When I’m in the kitchen cooking and worry that I forgot to put salt again.
- When I cry to Him in the car because another memory I want to forget keeps popping up.
- When I thank Him for an unexpected blessing.
- When I tell Him he owes me a brownie point for not responding aggressively to the cashier who was unnecessarily rude to me.
Remember, He’s not a distant God you check in with once a week. He’s your Father. He’s present. He’s near. As a matter of fact, He’s in the room with you right now!
“No longer do I call you servants… Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.” — John 15:15 (NLT)
This kind of relationship isn’t built in chaos. It’s nurtured in quiet spaces like the ones your singleness season offers.
7. Worshiping Without Distraction
In this season, worship doesn’t have to be coordinated around anyone else’s schedule. You can sing, dance, cry, or pray at any time, in your car, the bathroom, even in the middle of the night.
You can stay at the altar longer (no worrying about getting home to cook for your kid, clean, or even do multiple people’s laundry). You can pour out your heart without apology.
- You have freedom to worship deeply.
- You can go to church events or retreats without juggling another schedule.
- You can give your time and heart fully to God.
“Let us come to him with thanksgiving. Let us sing psalms of praise to him.” — Psalm 95:2 (NLT)
8. Being Strengthened in Solitude
Many people run from being alone because they equate it with being lonely. But solitude isn’t loneliness — it’s sacred strength training.
Some of the most anointed people in Scripture encountered God in solitude:
- Moses on the mountain
- Elijah in the wilderness
- Jesus in the quiet before ministry
Sis, don’t let the devil fool you. Your singleness isn’t wasted time. It’s where your faith muscle grows.
Sis, don’t let the devil fool you. Your singleness isn’t wasted time. It’s where your faith muscle grows. Share on X“But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.” — Luke 5:16 (NLT)
9. Developing Spiritual Discernment
Without the noise of competing voices, you can sharpen your ability to sense God’s leading. This will be invaluable for future decisions — whether about relationships, career, money moves, or even ministry.
- Learn to recognize His peace vs. external pressure.
- Discern red flags early (not so late that you end up paying a costly price).
- Trust His timing more deeply.
“Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or to the left.” — Isaiah 30:21 (NLT)
10. Falling in Love with the One Who Loved You First
At the end of the day, singleness is not just about filling time well — it’s about falling deeply in love with the One who has loved you perfectly all along.
“We love each other because he loved us first.” — 1 John 4:19 (NLT)
When your heart is anchored in Christ’s love, your worth is no longer tied to whether or not you’re in a relationship. You’re already fully loved, fully seen, fully chosen.
What should you do next?
This week, I challenge you to make space — real, intentional space — for God. Sit with Him in the quiet. Pray out loud. Journal your heart. Linger in worship. Create room for a deeper relationship with the One who never leaves.
This isn’t a season of lack. It’s a season of divine closeness. And that closeness? It will hold you through every season that follows.
In what ways could you plug into your relationship with God, starting even today?
Leave a Reply