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- Why can’t you be more like your sister?
- You have such a pretty face. If you’d just lose some weight, you’d be so beautiful!
- Oh her? She’s the ugly twin.
- At least you’re smart!
- You’re a nobody and you’ll always be a nobody!
- You think you’re special? Well, you’re not!
- Who in the world would ever want someone like you?
Some of you have heard one or more of these messages verbatim. In contrast, maybe you received these messages implicitly in the way you were treated.
- Maybe you were always left out of things.
- Maybe your parents split, and your dad/mom started a whole new family and forgot about you.
- Maybe parents, and even teachers, always compared you unfavorably to your perfect, can’t-do-no-wrong sibling.
- Maybe you were the dark-skinned one in your family and were treated like the “ugly” one because of that.
- Maybe every time you shared your goals and dreams your family would laugh or scoff at you.
- Maybe your weight was the butt of jokes or you were told you’d never be able to attract a man, let alone keep a man.
Whether your family members, friends, or society said it out loud or implied it via their actions, the message was clear:
You’re not good enough. You’re unworthy. You’re inadequate. You’re defective. You’re not special. You’re ugly. You’re dumb. You’ll never be one of us. You’ll never be accepted. You’re not worth people sticking around. Nobody would ever choose you. And you’ll never amount to anything.
Without meaning to, those harmful messages have stuck. Your sense of self-worth and self-value are nonexistent. The bar for your self-esteem is in hell.
You accept crap from your family, your girlfriends, your boyfriend, your fiancé, your husband, your boss, over and over again. You figure that until a miracle happens and you become who they want you to be, you’ll never be loved, valued, seen, or chosen.
What if I told you that you’re wrong?. What if I told you that, contrary to what they would have you believe, you are already somebody who is loved, valued, seen, chosen, and referred to as God’s “special treasure“?
What if I told you that, contrary to what they would have you believe, you are already somebody who is loved, valued, seen, chosen, and referred to as God’s “special treasure”? Share on XThe Underdog vs the Giant
One of the most famous stories in the Bible is about a boy by the name of David.
David was a young man who, with just a slingshot and five smooth stones, was able to take out a 9’6″ giant who had been terrorizing the Israelite people and defaming the name of God. But before we get to that story, we have to go back to the beginning to see how David was first introduced in the Bible.
In 1 Samuel chapter 16, we see God tell the prophet Samuel to stop mourning Saul (the previous king) and to anoint the new person God had chosen to replace him. Upon arriving to the house of Jesse, and explaining his reason for being there, Samuel was subsequently introduced to the eldest of Jesse’s son.
In 1 Samuel 16:6, we read, “When they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, “Surely this is the Lord’s anointed!” So what does that tell us about Eliab? It tells us that Eliab stood out. He was the kind of guy that most people, including a grown man like Samuel (!), wouldn’t miss.
Maybe he had a regal bearing or looked like he could be voted president. Maybe he stood head and shoulders above the rest and was a card-carrying member of the “6 feet and up club.” Maybe he was conventionally handsome and good-looking.
Whatever the reason, Samuel took one look at him and essentially declared, “This man has got to be the one God wants to be king!”
Now sis, let’s pause for a minute. Think of your own family/friend circle. Who’s the Eliab or superstar that people gravitate to and look on with admiration?
- Is it your older sister, the pageant/beauty queen?
- Is it your brother, the popular kid at school who was loved by students and teachers alike?
- Is it your sibling, the doctor, or the lawyer living in that extra-large house?
- Is it your cousin with a modeling body and look? Is it your parent’s favorite child?
- Is it your brother with the “good hair” and café au lait complexion? Is it your wealthy uncle?
Now hold this person firmly in your mind as we read the next verse in that chapter:
Or put another way, let’s bring that person, your Eliab, back to mind. Place their name in the blanks below:
“Don’t judge _______ by appearance or height, for I have rejected _______. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Now, am I having you do this exercise to suggest that all of the people who you’ve been unfairly compared to or that you’re jealous/envious of will never be chosen by God to do great things?! No! Definitely not.
But the real point of this little exercise is to show you that while your family/friends may have their own opinions of who the superstar in the family is, and they may have specific ideas of all the ways you don’t measure up, there’s only One person’s opinion that ultimately counts and matters. God’s opinion.
Your family and friends can bash you, label you, and compare you all they want, but at the end of the day, the only voice that you should tune into for your worth and value is God’s.
- If God accepts you, it doesn’t matter that they rejected you.
- If God stays by you, it doesn’t matter that they abandoned you.
- If God chooses you, it doesn’t matter that they chose everybody else.
If you read further down in 1 Samuel 16, a funny thing happens. Jesse introduces the prophet Samuel to six more of his sons. And God proceeds to reject each and every one.
While your family/friends may have their own opinions of who the superstar in the family is, and they may have specific ideas of all the ways you don’t measure up, there’s only One person’s opinion that ultimately counts and… Share on XAs my mentor and friend, Nikki, once put it: David was overlooked and rejected. He was probably viewed as “the youngest,” “the baby,” maybe even “the unimportant one.” His dad didn’t even think to introduce him to the prophet!
David was a shepherd who, in some ways, may have also been the black sheep based on his youth and his position. This story suggests he was an afterthought in his father’s/family’s eyes. But, and here’s the kicker: he wasn’t an afterthought to God.
Sis, regardless of how you felt growing up or even now, you are not an afterthought to God. You are not a black sheep. Reject any labels that don’t come from God.
Exodus 19:5 says, “Now if you will obey me and keep my covenant, you will be my own special treasure from among all the peoples on earth; for all the earth belongs to me.”
- They may see you as a failure. God can still see you as a success.
- They may see you as a good-for-nothing. God can still see you as good-for-something.
- They may see you as the black sheep. But thankfully, God is a shepherd who see you as His special treasure.
Anytime you forget that you ought to be performing solely for an audience of One, God, you will always find yourself feeling inferior and less than.
Stop focusing on them and what they’re doing or how they look or what they’ve been able to accomplish. Instead, focus on growing and deepening your relationship and intimacy with God.
I once heard an interview with TobyMac many moons ago where he was asked to define what success meant to him. While I don’t remember the quote verbatim, what he did say blew me away. He said success is when I am where God wants me to be when He wants me to be there.
David was where God wanted Him to be. His worth and value weren’t dependent on what his father, Jesse, or his brothers thought about him. And when the time was right, God took him on a journey from the fields to the palace.
Focus on getting to where God wants you to be when He wants you to be there. And trust that even though others may not see your value, or may treat you like an afterthought, God has called you His treasured possession.
Do you know someone who needs to hear this message? Share this post with a friend! What stood out to you the most in this blog post?