Hidden Dangers of Settling for the Wrong Man (And Why It Costs More Than You Think)

For a while, I treated my singleness like a long, dark hallway — cold, transitional, fluorescently lit, and uncomfortable. Something I had to walk through as fast as possible to get to the next room, called “Marriage.”

But let me encourage you as someone who has thankfully had a change of heart:

Your Singleness Is Not a Hallway — It’s a Journey

And not a never-ending journey. Now, I know some people like to say that since “marriage isn’t promised,” you may end up a lifelong single. And yes, it’s true that no Bible verse says “marriage is promised.”

But I also know that the Bible does promise in Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Not “may give you,” but “shall give you.”

If you desire marriage, I have faith and believe that God will give it to you in His divine timing. Keep trusting Him despite what your eyes see (no prospects) or your ears hear (ticking bio clock/naysayers).*

When done right, your singleness can be a season with meaning, personality, atmosphere, and joy (if you cultivate it).

Now, I know some people say that since "marriage isn't promised," you may end up a lifelong single. But the Bible also says in Ps. 37:4, "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." Not "may… Share on X

Singleness can be a chapter full of divine intention — not an awkward holding cell where God penitently places you until you “figure things out” or get your life “perfectly together”.

• God is not confused.
• God is not scrambling.
• God is not trying to piece together a last-minute solution to your “singleness problem.”

He is aligning two destinies. And that takes time — holy time.

If you desire marriage, I have faith and believe that God will give it to you in His divine timing. Keep trusting Him despite what your eyes see (no prospects) or your ears hear (ticking bio clock/naysayers). Share on X

Settling Has Consequences, and They Are Expensive

Sis, settling always feels like convenience in the beginning. You love him, he loves you, you’ve been together for years, your lives are completely intertwined. But by the end of your relationship, it becomes anything but convenient.

When you settle for the wrong man, you risk:

• Emotional Invalidation:
  Constantly having your feelings minimized, dismissed, or mocked. This eventually leads you to feel like you don’t matter and aren’t important.
• Being Used:
  For your body, your stability, your finances, your domestic labor (e.g., cooking, cleaning, etc.), your loyalty — without receiving real commitment in return.
• Infidelity:
  And the trauma that follows — the mistrust, the emotional collapse, the questions about your worth and value, and why you weren’t “good enough” for him to stay faithful.
• Attachment to an Unhealed Man:
  Who bleeds from wounds you didn’t cause and still expects you to clean up the mess. He may be avoidant, emotionally dysregulated, narcissistic, toxic/dysfunctional, rejecting, and more!
• Domestic Chaos:
  Arguing, walking on eggshells, instability, and emotional exhaustion. You walk into your house expecting a bomb to go off at any moment’s notice.
• Deep Spiritual Damage:
  Because being connected to someone with no spiritual discipline can erode your relationship with God without you realizing it. It’s the epitome of being unequally yoked, where he constantly holds you back in your spiritual growth journey.
• Living in Survival Mode:
  Instead of resting in the peace that God intended for your love life. Love should not be one big military expedition. You shouldn’t always have to be “on.” Living in this type of relationship is exhausting.

Don’t buy into what the devil is selling. Your singleness is not punishment. It is prevention, protection, and divine redirection until the time is right.

Share this with a sister who needs courage to not settle. #forsinglewomenonly

Share your experience with settling and how it wrecked your life and peace.