A few months ago, I was scrolling through my Instagram timeline, liking and commenting on my friends’ posts. For some reason, I ended up on the trending page, and my eyes immediately landed on a beautiful woman.
Y’all, when I say she was beautiful, sister was drop-dead gorgeous!
As I scrolled through her pictures, because I couldn’t just stop at one 🙂↕️, I came across a photo of her and her fiancé.
I kid you not: if I could’ve designed my ideal man, at least physically, he would’ve looked like him.
I kept scrolling.
I saw pictures of her traveling all over the world, her beautiful home, the gifts she’d received, and even her picture-perfect proposal story.
The more I looked, the more frustrated I became.
On some level, my mind was screaming:
“THAT GIRL IS LIVING THE LIFE I OUGHT TO BE LIVING!”
Now, this wasn’t just me being insecure (though I’m sure that played role).
I sensed the Lord asking me, “Why are you reacting this way?”
So, later that night I took some time to journal and eventually, everything clicked.
I was feeling envious of her…and a tiny bit jealous. Just a little bit. 🥲
Pay Attention!
There are days when your own phone can become a portal to jealousy and envy.
You scroll, and suddenly you’re drowning in comparison.
- Women relaxing on yachts in Santorini.
- “Girl dinner” picnics with three-cheese charcuterie boards arranged perfectly on marble countertops.
- Someone crying happy tears as her boyfriend proposes in front of the Eiffel Tower.
Then your heart begins to whisper: “If I had what she has, THEN I’d be happy.”
But here’s the truth: That voice isn’t from God.
In John 8:44, Jesus describes the enemy as the father of lies.
The enemy doesn’t always have to steal your blessings. Sometimes, he only has to blind you to the blessings you already have.
Comparison can produce low-grade misery in your life by feeding your feelings of:
- Inadequacy: “I’m not enough.”
- Defectiveness: “Something is wrong with me.”
- Hopelessness: “My life will never change.”
- Resentment: “Why not me?”
The Truth About Contentment
Proverbs 14:30 says that a peaceful heart leads to a healthy body, while jealousy is like cancer in the bones. So comparison robs your peace and envy drains your joy.
Sis, remember contentment is a learned skill, not a circumstance.
The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:11 that he had learned how to be content with whatever he had.
Notice that he didn’t say:
“Now that I’ve got my Chanel bag and my four-carat diamond ring, I’m content.”
Nope! Paul learned to be content no matter what situation he found himself in.
That means contentment isn’t automatic.
It doesn’t suddenly appear once you get what you want.
If you can’t enjoy this season, you won’t magically know how to enjoy the next one.
The Blind Spot Stealing Your Joy
One of the things that I’ve learned is you can develop spiritual blind spots around the blessings in your own life. There may be things you currently have that you’re completely overlooking.
And it’s not necessarily because you’re ungrateful. It’s because you’re human.
Most people don’t continue noticing blessings. They adapt to them.
You can stop noticing:
- Your bed.
- The clean water you drink.
- Your air conditioning keeping you cool.
- The ability to drive somewhere when you want a change of scenery.
- The freedom to worship.
You can scroll through someone else’s life and obsess over what you lack while remaining blind to the abundance already in your hands.
You may have more blessings around you than you’ve allowed yourself to see.
The problem is that you’ve gotten used to them. And the enemy thrives in blind spots.
He whispers:
“Everyone else is thriving except you.”
But Psalm 84:11 reminds you that the Lord gives grace and glory and doesn’t withhold what is good from those who do what is right.
That doesn’t mean God will give you every single thing you want. It means God hasn’t forgotten you and He will provide.
Whether He’s preparing you, redirecting you, protecting you, asking you to wait, or leading you somewhere unexpected, you can trust that He remains good.
11 Ways to Squeeze Every Drop of Joy Out of Your Single Season
Here are practical things you can do today.
1. Turn your old car into an adventure car
Your car may be 10+ years old, but it can still take you somewhere beautiful.
Pick a location:
- Your local beach pier at sunset.
- A rooftop garage with skyline views.
- A beautiful park with a walking trail.
Pack a mini snack box, a cold drink, your journal, and a playlist.
Then say: “God, thank You that I can go somewhere beautiful and enjoy the freedom You’ve given me.”
Gratitude can turn your old car into a doorway to freedom, beauty, and adventure.
2. Add spontaneity to your schedule
Search for local events happening today.
Try:
- A cooking class.
- An art exhibit.
- A free festival.
One blessing of singleness is that you often have fewer schedules to coordinate. You can put on lip gloss, grab your keys, and go.
3. Transform your home into a retreat
- Dim the lights.
- Play soft worship music while you soak in the tub.
- Make spa water with lemon, cucumber, and mint.
Say: “God, You’re here with me.”
Your home can become a sanctuary, even when you can’t afford that bougie resort you’ve been eyeing. And for a resort on a budget, check out Resort Pass.
4. Take yourself on a meaningful solo date
- Go to a farmer’s market and buy flowers.
- Order a fancy latte and read a book.
- Pack lunch and sit in a beautiful park.
- Dress nicely, wear perfume, and go to dinner.
Remind yourself: “My life is worth enjoying now.”
5. Celebrate what your body can do
- Stretch.
- Do Pilates.
- Dance in your kitchen.
- Take a walk.
Say: “My body isn’t only a project to improve. It’s also a gift to appreciate.”
6. Turn chores into worship
While washing dishes or folding laundry, pray:
- “Bless every person You’ll allow me to welcome and serve.”
- “Teach me to steward the home and life You’ve given me today.”
- “Prepare me for whatever relationships and responsibilities You choose to place in my life.”
7. Keep a gratitude journal specifically for singleness
Write down things you can enjoy because you’re single.
- “I slept diagonally across my bed.”
- “I changed my plans at the last minute.”
- “I traveled without coordinating another person’s schedule.”
- “I enjoyed an entire quiet evening.”
- “I spent Saturday exactly how I wanted.”
Your eyes will gradually begin to recognize the joy in this season.
8. Create a joy jar
Keep a jar and sticky notes nearby. Write down:
- A compliment.
- A breakthrough.
- A small answered prayer.
- A funny moment.
- A kind text.
- A Bible verse.
On discouraged days, pull them out and read them.
9. Curate your feed like your peace depends on it
Mute, snooze, or unfollow accounts that consistently:
- Trigger comparison which can make you feel behind.
- Pressure you to perform.
- Lead to feelings of resentment of your own life.
Follow people who:
- Help you feel peaceful, encouraged, inspired, and closer to God.
Your eyes influence your thoughts and your thoughts influence your mood. Be wise and discerning in your choices.
10. Speak life over your life
Every morning, say:
“My life isn’t waiting to begin. I’m living it now.”
Proverbs 18:21 reminds you that the tongue can bring death or life.
Your words matter.
Speak about your life with gratitude, truth, hope, and faith.
11. Romanticize your life
You don’t have to wait on a man to do nice things for you.
- Wear silk pajamas.
- Pour sparkling water into a pretty glass.
- Watch the sunrise.
- Book a massage when it fits your budget.
- Dress up for no reason.
Say:
“God, thank You that I have the ability to enjoy the life You’ve given me.”
God wants you to start living, not waiting.
In John 10:10, Jesus says that His purpose is to give you a rich and satisfying life.
Not later. Now.
Your life isn’t a waiting room.
This isn’t the pre-show.
This is your life, the life God handcrafted for you.
As you learn to recognize what’s already in your hands, you’ll become more able to experience the life God is giving you today, even if tomorrow doesn’t look exactly as you imagined.
What’s one thing you’ll do this week to enjoy your current season?
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