Have you ever looked over your life and thought,
I don’t just mean a thought that crosses your mind when you’ve made a mistake, got chewed out by your boss, or had a rough morning. I’m talking about that deep, internal ache that says:
Let’s go ahead and name that for what it is: shame disguised as identity.
Feeling defective is the belief that there’s something fundamentally wrong with you. In other words, you’re not just flawed, you are flawed beyond fixing.
Sure, you may look fine on the outside, but on the inside, you’re constantly trying to hide your cracks or overcompensate for them.
Psychologically, you may feel like a leaky boat. Full of holes that you have to keep plugging to stay afloat so nobody sees you sink.
Feeling defective is the belief that there’s something fundamentally wrong with you. You’re not just flawed, you are flawed beyond fixing. Psychologically, you may feel like a leaky boat. Full of holes that you have to keep… Share on XThis feeling often comes from various experiences, including a history of trauma/abuse, neglect (whether physical or emotional), a series of rejection/abandonment, being made to feel like you haven’t and will never be able to live up to others’ expectations, or even repeated failures of one kind or another.
Over time, these negative experiences color the lens of your life. So rather than viewing them as a series of events that happened to you (and wrongfully so) you start to see yourself as the epicenter of it all. Bad things don’t just happen to me. I am the bad thing. I am broken.
Over time, negative experiences color the lens of your life. So rather than viewing them as a series of events that happened to you, you start to see yourself as the epicenter of it all. Bad things don't just happen to me. I am the… Share on XImagine a close friend of yours telling you, “I feel like I came off the assembly line wrong.” Imagine that she had been through deep childhood trauma, struggled with addiction, promiscuity, or codependency, and couldn’t seem to “fix” the broken way she saw herself.
Maybe on the outside, she looked like she had it all together. Maybe she was the type who always had a smile on her face and an encouraging word for everybody else. But on the inside? Cold. Empty. Lonely. Broken.
Maybe you don’t have to imagine this girl at all. Maybe that girl is you. Maybe you hate journaling or looking inward because all you’ve ever seen are the ways in which you feel you don’t measure up or are messed up beyond repair. Like a mistake God didn’t mean to make.
But sis, if you’re thinking this way, you have swallowed a lie of the devil. You are not a mistake. You are not broken or defective. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are a miracle in progress.
The good news is, if you’re struggling with feeling broken, defective, rejected, abandoned, or like you’re not enough, you are not alone.
Each of these individuals had trauma. Lapses. Brokenness. Scars. But God didn’t reject them — He revealed Himself through their healing. Broken doesn’t mean unusable.
So what can you do to start to reclaim your identity as a healed, redeemed, whole (in Christ) daughter of God?
Journal it Out!
Those heavy feelings of being defective, broken, or “not good enough” didn’t appear out of nowhere, sis. They usually sprout from seeds planted in our past — through painful experiences, neglect, harsh words, or rejection. This exercise will help you identify those roots, bring them into the light, and let God begin rewriting the story.
So that’s the first part in your healing journey. Take your time completing this journaling exercise. Feel free to repeat steps 1-6 as many times as possible.
Don’t say to yourself, “Only a truly broken person would have to do this so many times.” NO, sis! if you’ve been exposed to lots of poison, you may need to get several “treatments” before you start to get better. This will increase the chances that you uproot each and every idea that is not of God that keeps you stuck.
Don't say to yourself, "Only a truly broken person would have to journal so many times." NO, sis! if you've been exposed to lots of poison, you may need several "treatments" before you start to get better. Share on XNow I want you to start to affirm the new truth to yourself on a daily basis. What might this look like?
Don’t rush this part of the process. Recite these phrases as often as you need to in order to start to retrain your brain. You’ve spent far too long feeling like the weakest link. God wants to help you be free. Just believe!
Let me speak this to your soul:
Know a sister who thinks she’s too broken to be chosen, healed, or loved? Send her this post. Remind her: God is not scared of her wounds. He’s the Healer. Have you ever felt defective, damaged, or beyond repair? What did that look like for you — and how are you learning to heal? Share your story in the comments below. You never know who might need to see beauty in your brokenness.
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