Recently, I was on my way to an appointment when I saw a railroad crossing ahead.
The traffic light just beyond the railroad crossing was green, so naturally, I was about to drive forward. But then I remembered what you’re supposed to do at a railroad crossing: wait until the car in front of you completely clears the tracks and make sure there’s enough space for you on the other side.
So I stopped just before the crossing bars and waited.
And thank God I did.
Because within seconds, that green light turned yellow, then red. The white sedan in front of me had crossed over the train tracks, but at least half of its body was still sitting right on the track.
I inwardly cringed on their behalf.
I remember thinking, “Lord, thank You for reminding me not to rush forward just because the light was green.”
And then things went left.
All of a sudden, the railroad lights started flashing.
Then the railroad sounds started playing.
Needless to say, I panicked!
I probably said, “Oh my God” at least twenty times in the next few minutes!!! I was freaking out!!!
I was horrified at the thought that I was about to witness something gruesome. A train crash. An injury. Maybe even a death.
The driver of the white sedan was clearly panicking too! He was trying to pull forward, but there was nowhere to go. There was construction on both sides of the street, and both sides of the road had been reduced to one lane. He started laying on the horn, trying to get the white SUV in front of him to move forward.
But the light was red.
The SUV had nowhere to go.
The driver of the sedan was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Then the crossing bars started coming down.
At that point, I was two steps away from having an anxiety attack on that driver’s behalf. The SUV in front of him finally tried to inch forward. The white sedan tried to move too.
But the crossing bar came down at exactly that moment right in front of his car barring him from moving further.
He laid on the horn some more! He was terrified as were we all. Thank God some construction workers saw what was happening and rushed over to lift the bar so he could pull forward.
Finally, the back of his car was off the track.
And then guess what happened next? I’ll tell you what happened.
The train never came.
Yes, you read that correctly. Not one train.
Afterward, when I told my family the story, I couldn’t help but laugh at how suspenseful everything had been. The flashing lights. The crossing sounds. The trapped car. The crossing bars coming down just as he thought he could move forward. The panic. The horn. The construction workers running over like we were in the middle of a movie scene.
And then…nothing.
Just fear, pressure, and a whole lot of warning sounds.
And honestly, that made me think about what it can feel like to be single.
Because sometimes the devil, the world, your family, your friends, social media, and even well-meaning church folks can make it feel like if you’re single, disaster is coming!
Like if you don’t hurry up and cross over into marriage, life is about to run you over.
If your birthday is coming up and there’s still no ring, no boyfriend, no husband, and no baby announcement, then surely the “train” of perpetual singleness, barrenness, old age, menopause, wrinkles, loneliness, and “dying alone” is headed straight for you.
And if God forbid your ex moves on before you?!! You just got run over by the “train” of life.
But can I tell you something?
Fear is a liar, panic is a trap, and that ‘train’ you’re so terrified of isn’t coming. It’s not coming, sis! But rushing into the wrong relationship? That will bring its own kind of wreckage.
Sometimes the enemy doesn’t have to destroy you. He just has to convince you that destruction is coming so you’ll make a fear-based decision.
He’ll remind you of your age, your past, your mistakes, your loneliness, your desire for love, your desire for children, and every wedding invitation you’ve ever received.
Sometimes the enemy doesn’t have to destroy you. He just has to convince you that destruction is coming so you’ll make a fear-based decision. #forsinglewomenonly Share on XAnd if you’re not careful, you’ll settle for the first man who pulls up, not because he’s God’s best, but because you’re scared of being left on the tracks.
Don’t settle for the first man who pulls up just because you’re scared of being left on the tracks. #forsinglewomenonly Share on XBut listen closely.
You do not have to rush into the wrong relationship because fear is making noise.
You do not have to marry an unbeliever just because you’re tired of waiting.
You do not have to ignore red flags because your biological clock feels loud.
You do not have to rush into the wrong relationship because fear is making noise. #forsinglewomenonly Share on XYou belong to a God who is not intimidated by time.
Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”
Your desires matter to God. Your longing for marriage is not silly. Your desire to be loved is not shameful. Your hope for a family is not too much.
God sees it. God knows it. And God can be trusted with it.
Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
Not give you a little.
Not give you almost enough.
Not give you barely enough to survive.
You don’t have to let the world’s timeline become your master. You can seek first the Kingdom and trust that God knows exactly what needs to be added to your life (and when).
And yes, I’ve heard some people quote a verse in Isaiah that says, “none will lack a mate.”
While Isaiah 34:16 is not specifically a marriage promise to single women, it is a reminder about God’s word being fulfilled and nothing missing what He appointed.
There is an appointed time for everything. God knows how to gather, align, provide, and fulfill at His appointed time for you.
Nothing God has ordained for you will miss you.
No man God has assigned to your life will be blocked by your age, your past, your zip code, your awkward dating history, or the fact that you don’t feel “chosen” right now.
And even while you wait, your life is not on pause.
Jesus said in John 10:10, “My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”
A rich and satisfying life.
Jesus died so you could have life now.
Jesus already took the impact for you at the cross. The judgment, the curse, the shame, the condemnation, the spiritual death that should’ve crushed you, He bore it all.
So no, you don’t have to live like some unstoppable train of doom is headed your way just because you’re single. The cross already handled the real disaster.
And because of Jesus, you can live.
Fully.
Freely.
Abundantly.
Even now while you’re single. Even without knowing when your love story will change.
And please hear this: God can resurrect your love life in the blink of an eye.
One conversation.
One divine appointment.
One “I almost didn’t go, but I went.”
One moment with God can change everything.
But until then, don’t waste your single season staring at or fearing imaginary trains.
The world will flash its warning signs.
But let God’s Word flash brighter and speak louder.
Don’t let the flashing lights of culture convince you that you’re in danger because you’re not married yet. #forsinglewomenonly Share on XYou are loved, seen, covered, not forgotten, and not behind.
You are not less valuable because you’re single.
You are not standing on the tracks waiting to be destroyed.
So the next time fear starts flashing lights in your mind, take a breath.
And remember this too:
The train never came.
Sis, keep your eyes planted firmly on the truth of God’s Word. Live your life with undivided devotion to the Lord. Enjoy the freedom, purpose, beauty, and intimacy with God available to you right now.
Your story may shift faster than you think.
But even if it doesn’t within the timeline you thought, you don’t have to be ruled by fear while you wait.
There’s no train coming that Jesus can’t stop, redeem, reroute, or resurrect.
So don’t panic. Wait on the Lord, and trust His timing.
If this encouraged you, share it with another single woman who’s been feeling pressured, rushed, or afraid that she’s running out of time.
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