Stop Looking At Their Life: God Hasn’t Forgotten About You

A few days ago, I was driving down Broward Boulevard, enjoying a matcha latte with oat milk from my local Dunkin’.

As I drove down the right lane, I noticed signs ahead saying the right lane was closed. Orange cones strategically guided everyone from the right lane into the middle lane. So naturally, I turned on my blinker and glanced over my shoulder to merge.

That’s when I saw it: a black sedan, about the same size as my car, barreling my way.

And can I be real with you? From my perspective, it looked like the driver saw me trying to change lanes and intentionally sped up just so they could get ahead of me.

Now I’m not gonna lie to you. In another season of life, I might have thought, “Okay, bet,” And entered my own unofficial audition for The Fast and the Furious: South Florida Drift.

But instead, I remembered something a lawyer and longtime family friend once told my family years ago:

“When driving, the only person who wins is the person who makes it home alive.”

So I decided to be the bigger person and let the car go ahead of me. I waited for them to pass and then calmly changed lanes behind them.

A few moments later, as I continued driving, I noticed an SUV up ahead attempting to make an illegal turn to head eastbound. I don’t know whether the black sedan tried to speed past them too, but within seconds I heard it:

CRASH!

You know what I’m talking about. That awful sound of metal slamming into metal echoed through the street.

My eyes widened at the sight of the SUV’s bumper on the ground. I turned and saw the front of the black sedan was badly caved in.

The two drivers immediately got outside of their cars to survey the damage, and as I slowly drove past the accident, one thought immediately hit me:

That could’ve been ME!

Just minutes earlier, I had the opportunity to get ahead of that car.

But because I chose patience over a need to prove myself, I avoided an accident.

And honestly? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how much that mirrors life.

What You Have to Remember

Do you ever find yourself noticing all of the people who appear to be “passing” you in life?

• She’s getting promoted.
• Buying homes.
• Getting married.
• Posting engagement pictures.
• Having babies.
• Starting businesses.
• Taking luxury vacations.
• Driving newer cars.
• Building the life you thought you’d have by now.

Meanwhile, you:

• Are still in the same job.
• Can’t remember the last time you got a raise.
• Are still living with your parents…or in a tiny studio apartment.
• Have a car old enough to qualify for its own middle school graduation ceremony.
• Have DMs that are so dry they could start a wildfire.
• Haven’t been on a date in months…maybe even years.

And if you’re honest? Sometimes you look around and quietly think to yourself:

“How did I get so behind?”

What if I told you that you have it all wrong? What if I told you that in the race of life, you are not competing with them? Instead, they are running their race, and your race is your race. You are the only “runner” in your race, and so you can be the only “winner.”

• You are not behind.
• You are not delayed.
• You are not experiencing “arrested development.”
• You are operating on God’s timing, not human timing.

And there is a difference. Reject the lie that says that they are in a better place because they are (seemingly) ahead of you.

Reject the lie that says that they are in a better place because they are ahead of you. #forsinglewomenonly Share on X

What We Get Wrong

Marriage is not a race.

Graduation is not a race.

Home ownership is not a race.

When you view life “milestones” as something you have to achieve, you will rush your decision-making just so you can say you won “the prize.” But what you usually end up winning is a whole lot of pain and avoidable stress.

Don’t Forget This

Sometimes, the people who apear to be “speeding ahead” of you are rushing toward collisions you (and they!) can’t yet see.

Sometimes, that friend who is hellbent on marrying her cheating boyfriend is literally signing up for the biggest lesson of her life.

That friend who purchased a home because all of her siblings just purchased one is literally signing up for the costliest lesson of her life.

Sometimes, what looks like forward momentum is actually just the opposite!

When you view life "milestones" as something you have to achieve, you will rush your decision-making just so you can say you won "the prize." But what you usually end up winning is a whole lot of pain and avoidable stress.… Share on X

Do you think the driver of that black sedan would’ve sped up to get ahead of me if they knew an accident was waiting for them a few hundred feet ahead??? Probably not.

But that’s the thing about being hasty. You can start making rushed, unwise, undiscerning relationship choices when you’re obsessed with timelines or “shoulds.”

• “I should be making six figures by now.”
• “I should own a home by now.”
• “I shouldn’t still live with my parents.”
• “I should be married now.”
• “I should have had at least one serious relationship by now.”
• “I’m 30+ and single, while they have 2.5 kids and ten years of marriage.”

That's the thing about being hasty. You can start making rushed, unwise, undiscerning relationship choices when you’re obsessed with timelines or "shoulds." #forsinglewomenonly Share on X

When you buy into the lie that you are “behind,” you may inadvertently start to force things without meaning to.

You can:

• Move too fast.
• Choose people you shouldn’t choose.
• Buy things you can’t afford.
• Overwork yourself into burnout.
• Ignore red flags.
• Compromise spiritually.
• Sacrifice peace just to feel “caught up.”

Can I lovingly tell you something? A lot of the lives you envy are far more fragile than they appear.

• Some bought homes and lost them.
• Some moved into their “dream” apartment only to have to move right back in with family later.
• Some got the “6-figure job” only to realize it drained every ounce of joy, peace, health, and spiritual connection they had.
• Some relationships looked beautiful online but quietly destroyed offline.
• Some marriages that seemed “right on time” ended in separation, divorce, betrayal, or decades of unhappiness.

And I guarantee you that if some of those people could go back in time, they:

• Would slow down.
• Wouldn’t force that situationship or relationship.
• Wouldn’t buy that luxury car that bled them dry.
• Would stop rushing to be the “first” to graduate.
• Wouldn’t purchase that home in that expensive neighborhood.
• Wouldn’t have rushed into marriage or having a baby just because they were pushing 30 or 40.

Why? Because they learned after the “crash” what God has graced/allowed you to learn on this side of it: Not every delay is punishment. Sometimes it’s protection.

Sometimes God keeps you in the slower lane, not because He doesn’t want you to reach your destination, but because He can see the crash ahead that you cannot.

And I know that’s hard to accept when you feel:

• Lonely.
• Or embarrassed.
• Or overlooked.
• Or tired of waiting.

Some learned after the "crash" what God has graced/allowed you to learn on this side of it: Not every delay is punishment. Sometimes it’s protection. #forsinglewomenonly Share on X

And I get it because I’ve been there (and still am!). I’m in my late 30s and have watched people hit various “milestones.”

I’ve seen them purchase multiple homes/rental properties. I’ve watched them pull up in luxury cars. I’ve even watched people marry, get divorced, and find their second “happily ever after” story when I haven’t been married once.

This has happened over and over again. But sis, rather than get bitter or drown in envy, here’s what God had to teach me, and what I encourage you to hold onto:

God does not operate according to your panic. God operates according to His divine purpose, providence, and timing.

Scripture says:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
— <Isaiah 55:8 (NIV) on BibleGateway

Sometimes God keeps you in the slower lane, not because He doesn't want you to reach your destination, but because He can see the crash ahead that you cannot. #forsinglewomenonly Share on X

God lives outside of time itself. Which means what feels “late” to you may actually be perfectly on schedule to Him.

And maybe the greatest act of faith isn’t speeding ahead, trying to force your life into alignment with everyone else’s timeline.

God does not operate according to your panic. God operates according to His divine purpose, providence, and timing…what feels “late” to you may actually be perfectly on schedule to Him. #forsinglewomenonly Share on X

Maybe it’s trusting God enough to let other people pass you by without panicking.

Maybe it’s believing that obedience is safer than urgency.

Maybe it’s understanding that arriving whole is better than arriving quickly and getting shattered later.

So the next time you feel behind…
Or the next time someone bypasses you…
Or the next time life (or the devil!) makes you feel overlooked…

Remember that black sedan.

Maybe the greatest act of faith isn’t speeding ahead, trying to force your life into alignment with everyone else’s timeline. Maybe it’s trusting God enough to let other people pass you without panicking. #forsinglewomenonly Share on X

And remember this:

The goal isn’t for you to get there first. The goal is for you to arrive safely, peacefully, spiritually intact, and in alignment with God’s timing and will. So sis, don’t believe the devil’s lies. You are right on time.

In what area(s) have you found yourself feeling behind? How can you change that narrative today?